Amongst women, I’m sure there’s more than enough conversation that circulates around February 14th, single or not. With love literally in the air around us, it’s hard to avoid reminders of spending quality time with a significant other—or lack thereof. And if you’re single around this time, the lovey-dovey atmosphere is all too much of an obnoxious reminder of your currently unwed status. The pressure of the season is enough to make anyone want to pour every box of crappy chalk-candy hearts into a pile and watch their sappy messages burn.
Well all you single ladies, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone when it comes to a hatred for the month of heartache. Guys hate it just as much—we just deal with it in our own ways. Now, according to pop culture and movies like Bridget Jones’ Diary, Valentine’s Day alone for you all involves a pint of Hagen-Daas, a bottle of cab, and one evening of self-loathing before you can return to your normal schedule. I have enough friends to know that’s totally clichéd and incorrect—it’s usually two bottles of merlot, and a delivery pizza.
And while we all like to celebrate our singlehood in different ways, I’m here to give you an insight into how guys spend the holiday from pink, candy-coated hell.
POKER NIGHT WITH THE BOYS
If you can’t celebrate the holiday with a lady, make your own holiday happen with your boys. Some beer, some cards, and some shit-talking around the meager bets you’ve scraped out of your wallet.
And while being around your friends certainly helps you validate your single lifestyle, it’s not really those who are present that make you feel better. It’s the people who aren’t.
See, the only guys who won’t be attending poker night are the ones who are with their girlfriends, and the fact that they’re not around makes you feel so much better about having zero obligations, zero stress, and next-to-zero responsibility in your life—and makes you value your days of freedom even more.
Plus, no matter how much you lose at the table, it’s still cheaper than a date. And you don’t even have to put on your good jeans.
Spending hours glued to your couch is not something limited to one gender or the other—everyone is thankful for the great and powerful Netflix.
Still, it should be said that guys, instead of watching sappy love stories and the like, watch stuff that makes us feel like ballers. Entourage, Boardwalk Empire, The Godfather…anything that that puts us in a badass state of mind can help us take ourselves away from our current situation and into a cinematic fantasy land where cool is king.
Nectar of the gods. Cold weather cure-all. Anyone who has ever read one of my articles knows my opinions on this magical elixir. It just so happens that whiskey can make any night in exciting, and adds the perfect amount of manliness to help us get through those lonely nights.
While tossing back a few bottles is great, it’s the brown liquor that we really rely on, turning to our friends Jack and Jim for moral support for the season in which Cupid passed us all by.
POOL HALLS/BOWLING ALLEYS/DARTS
Sometimes, getting out of the house can help with the February blues. While we may usually spend a good portion of our times at bars talking to the women, Valentine’s is a night where we can bury ourselves in competitive bar games with our buddies and forget about the opposite sex for a while.
Now whether it’s a dim pool hall, dim bowling alley, or dim dive bar with darts, there’s something relaxing about holing up, tossing a few back, and getting by with a little help from our bros.
MARIO KART 64
When love gets you down, there’s something comforting about retreating into your treasured childhood memories and stumbling down memory lane. In this particular case, I usually turn to the ultimate 4-player throwdown—Mario Kart. It’s simple, it’s cutthroat, and in some ways, therapeutic.
You and three buddies plugging in to a two-decade old console makes a surefire way to escape your lack-of-love night and increase your brotherly bond.
If we’re not treating a lady out to dinner, you can be damn sure we’re going to treat ourselves.
And nothing says, “I love you, Me.” like a 16oz. ribeye. You can count on beef.